Defeated

I know I try to be so positive, but often times it is hidden. I am only human. And to be quite frank, I feel at my all time low at the moment. I feel so defeated with everything that is going in my life that I cannot to focus.

I am worried about my family, school is almost over and I got a grade back on a paper that I put so much effort in that I feel I did not deserve the grade. And on top of that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t the best.

I feel so embarrassed that I am crying in class. I just want to punch the wall. :(

It’s easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present and their past, but you’d be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often then not, it’s lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul.

(Source: thlnkdifferent)

(Source: davidroads)

Test to my faith

I’ve been feeling very low and heavy hearted all day.

I found out that my aunt, the oldest sister in my mothers side had a heart attack today. She was quickly rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately, moments passed and things were not looking well for her. She is currently on life support and the doctors are giving her a month to live.

It pains my heart at the thought of this. I wish I there was more that I can do. Her own children who live in the Philippines are messaging me asking how she is doing. But I do not want to be the bearer of bad news.

This is the aunt who is strong in character and faith. This is the aunt who holds my own mother and her siblings together in time of need. This is the aunt who never ceases to smile and always says she is praying for me. This is the aunt who I always call my “mom” because we’ve had moments of tears together and share a faithful/religious bond.

I know she is a fighter and I will be a warrior in prayer and in faith for her. I am trusting in Him.